I Got 99 Problems, and I Would List Them but I Have Shit Memory

I've got problems. As do all living beings. Even the nonexistent ones reading this. They're not like Kardashian sized problems. Those are issues, not problems. The difference being problems are something fixable and able to overcome and not just mask behind disillusionments of the psyche, and especially the soul. Or Botox. But, fuck it, still #TeamKhloe.

So a few of my problems came up during my trip from school to the place of where I reside. My home, yes. My first problem is, I believe, a familial characteristic that I need to, quickly, reign in: eaves dropping (or if you're at the same mental capacity as I, ease dropping). I don't mean to, honest. I had both earbuds on, full blast jamming out to James Bay, but it's like JB had purposely lowered his voice to a careless whisper to allow me to catch the tense conversation going on before me. Especially juicy tales with more drama in it than a TNT show. Or an MTV plot come to think of it. This kid was chatting up with a, how you say, mature(er) lady at all hours of the night. And all the while she's scolding and they're bickering, he is still tempting on, what I presumed, was said phone. See, at this point James had completely left the convo only to be replaced with Beyoncè's smooth lull telling me to Listttttteennnnnn mmmmmhhmm. And whatever Queen Bey says shall be law from here on forth, and I did just that. It gets interesting because Mama Bear goes off, talking about how even his father agrees it's weird for this type of talking with an older woman to go on, he defends his "friend's" age, she goes back to a text at 1AM, I'm trying to pick the winning side to put my money on, he goes on to mumble that she's not a "positive person", and while I prepare for the backhand smack to commenceme, I thought, "Damn, how she know exactly what you texted and when, homie? Don't you triple lock, fingerprint password that shit?!" And THEN, she snatches that phone right up outta his hands demanding her phone back, spewing the same Mama Bear "You are so ungrateful the way you're acting no wonder I'm this way" speech we all get once in our childhood, and I get ready to hightail my ass out of there because problem número dos just came up. 

I have the habit of laughing in the worse times. It's not at at stage where it's like that one medical condition, but it's still pretty serious when you hear my cracking laugh or a stifled guwaff in a still and silent setting. So I'm just pretending to scroll down my phone and trying so hard not to bust out ROFL-ing and it is nearly impossible. Because it's like trying to hold in a fart at this point. 

I get off a stop early and as soon as I'm through those doors I lose it. Completely. I end up walking home because I missed the bus but oh lawd it was worth it. Shout out to the mother son duo and I hope you get him his own phone for Christmas. Or not. 

This picture has nothing to do with my ramblings. I just think Khloe is the only tolerable Kardashian. You go Glen Khlo Khlo!