My Acid-Trip of a Childhood

An Ode to the old Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon: You. Complete. Me.
 P.S. Fuck you, Disney. You had nothing on this shit.

Recently I had to prepare for an upcoming speech. That's a sentence I will always come to hate to utter. Anyway, during my preparation I had to make those damned attention-getters/hooks/etc and I couldn't escape the draw to an episode of Dexter's Laboratory. So after getting lost in the infinite black-hole of YouTube and countless episodes later, I did some deep thinking about the staples of my childhood. And I came upon this question: was I fucking high?!

The creators of my favorite 90's shows must have been tripping out on hallucinations to even imagine the stuff that made it on the network; my mom must've gotten a contact high from the shows to have let me watch the stuff in the first place; and holy shit I love both for being able to get away with it and giving me some damn good memories.

Dexter's Lab: Dexter, the answer to the pre-Stewie Griffin era. The accent. The hair. The glasses. The omlette du fromage. And who could forget, "Ooohhhh, what's this button doooooo?" Along with Mandark (haHAhaHAHAHAHAHA) and his one-day stalker ("Why, why do you look at me with such love?") Dexter was a show that should have never been cancelled. Why are his parents not checking up on him periodically? He's just a baby!


                          


CatDog: I don't even know where to start with this shit. A dog, attatched to a cat, that rollerblades through carwashes and parks and right through traffic. I mean, they were the founding fathers of YOLO and IDGAF.

Courage the Cowardly Dog: I don't even want to touch on this show. Muriel was a burden. And Eustace was the ultimate douchebag. The saving grace that aided Poor courage was Siri's ancestor. Did we not all wish we had a computer like that?

Ed, Edd & Eddy: ACID.TRIP.EXTRAORDINAIRE>

The Lone Survivor: Spongebob Squarepants, The Last of the Best. And with a new movie underway, there is no stopping this multi-BILLION enterprise. This show taught us so much: to be ugly and proud, that stealing balloons is wrong, except if it's on Free Balloon Day, that we all need some CHOCOLATTTTTTTEEE, and most importantly, that Krusty Krab Pizza is the pizza for you and me.
                         

Krust Krab is unfair! Mister Krabs is in there! Standing at the concession! Plotting our oppression!

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