The Repetition Game

I don't know if it's a motherly instinct or a nervous tick or a just an eagerness to be overly accommodating, but I noticed many Polys are guilty of this. The constant, "Are you doing okay; are your feet cramped; you sure they're not cramped; scoot your seat back so your legs don't cramp up; are your legs numb; go ahead and scoot back" all in the span of fifteen minutes. Or my favorite: "Do you want anything to eat" followed up by "Want a water? Some chips?" two minutes later, then a curious, "I've got gum. Oh, and a bag of sunflower seeds" proceeding the "If you don't want water, I've got Voss [-_-]" and hopefully ending there with a "I've got some pizza. Take a piece". 

Polys are pros at this game. You cannot be any more sickeningly hospitable than Polynesians and, excuse the name dropping, I happen to know a hall of famer in the league: my mom. Love her to death, but road trips are the bane of my entire existence: "Do you want a jacket; it's cold out there; how about a sweater; a cardigan will do nicely; looks like it might rain, take a jacket; you sure you don't want a jacket? 

So next time you wander upon one of these strange creatures with the misfortune of having this as a talent, here's a tip: give in. When they ask if you need room to stretch your legs, even if you have plenty of space, just go ahead and at least pretend to scoot your seat back. If they offer you food, just take it at the first glance. And if they even suggest anything remotely related to a weather forecast, go on and predict what they want you to do. Read between the lines, lil homies. And you will save yourself hours of barraging questions in a hot seat.